The Origins of Love

Recently I was listening to the soundtrack to Hedwig and the Angry Inch, the off-Broadway iconic musical starring a genderqueer rock star (who has been played on Broadway by stars such as Neil Patrick Harris, Andrew Rannells and Darren Criss) and for the first time, I actually paid attention to the lyrics of my favourite song The Origin of Love. It surmises Aristophanes’ speech in Plato’s Symposium and subsequently links this to other mythological tales of 'the origin of love’ from around the world. The song itself is definitely worth a listen as it is a ballad of epic proportions from the perspective of Hedwig who has lived a difficult life thus far in communist East Germany and is trying to run to the west to find her other half, but I shall summarise Aristophanes’ speech even more briefly here:

Originally all humans seemed to be two people joined together, as in one being with two heads, four arms, four legs, etc. There were three different kinds of person;

· The male children of the Sun (Two men conjoined)

· The female children of the Earth (Two women conjoined)

· The androgynous children of the Moon (A man and a woman conjoined)

However, the gods felt threatened by the power that these beings had, so Zeus cut them in half. He threatened to do it again, but Apollo stopped him and turned the humans into what they are today, with a navel to remind them of their punishment. Humans are now constantly searching for their other half, or their ‘soulmate’.

Now, Aristophanes’ speech was probably supposed to be some sort of comic relief during the Symposium (a dinner party where a group of philosophers gathered together to deliver drunken speeches on Eros, the god of love), but it was definitely never meant to be taken literally, and Plato would not have written about it if there wasn’t a perspective to be discussed. For example, this myth suggests that a certain person is right for another because of the qualities they have in common, rather than due to the qualities they find attractive. Furthermore, it presents a conversation about perspectives on sexuality during the time of the Ancient Greeks, Aristophanes suggests that homosexual relationships are just as valuable as heterosexual ones, in fact, Aristophanes even promotes the "confidence, courage and manliness" of males searching for males and suggests that these men can be particularly good politicians due to these qualities. (Although this could be more of a justification for why politicians often engaged in homosexual acts, as opposed to a suggestion that men should be elected based on what they did in the bedroom so to speak…) The speech ultimately decrees that love is the desire to find our other half and to become whole again.

Whilst this concept is beautiful, and it’s clear to see why Hedwig is so drawn to it considering the hardships she goes through, love in Greek mythology is rarely so beautiful. Whilst many Greek myths have multiple interpretations due to translation and historical/cultural context, the tragedy of being in love is almost a constant throughout. The most obvious example of love in Greek mythology is that of Orpheus and Eurydice. In this tale, the musical talent falls in love with and marries the beautiful Eurydice, but then she is killed by a snake. Orpheus finds out and plays a tune on his lyre that is so tragic that even Hades (the god of the underworld) and his wife, Persephone, are moved. Hades then tells him that he can have Eurydice back as long as he does not turn around to look at her until they are both back in the mortal world.

Orpheus and Eurydice in another Broadway musical, Hadestown

Unfortunately, Eurydice follows Orpheus silently, so he cannot tell whether she is following him or not, and only a few feet from the end he loses his faith and

turns around only to see Eurydice being whisked back to the underworld. This myth shows a man who is so in love that he is willing to face the god of the underworld, but who’s love overwhelms him so much that he cannot trust that his loved one is there without seeing her. So this story is probably a precautionary tale about trusting the gods’ word, but the fact that mortal love overpowers faith shows (to a degree) how tragic love can be.

Hero drowned herself when she learned that Leander was dead, Zephyrus forced Apollo to kill Hyacinthus out of jealousy for their love, Pyramus stabbed himself to death when he thought that Thisbe was dead, and she killed herself when she found Pyramus’ body. The list goes on and on, and most love stories that don’t fit into my theory of tragic love involved copious amounts of manipulation or betrayal. The Greeks were not known for being overly cheerful in their mythology, and it pains me to say that a simple love story would probably not fit their idiom of “The Gods are more powerful than everything”, but it is a notable fact that love, infinitely more often than not, leads to tragedy in Ancient Greek mythology. This seemingly conflicts with Aristophanes’ speech, as the ideal of soulmates suggests fulfilment and utter bliss upon finding your other half, but maybe it’s simply another way of suggesting that love is the only thing more powerful than the gods and therefore fate is constantly battling against it.

In subsequent cultures, ‘love overcomes all’ became an incredibly influential idea, especially without the ever-constant power battle between humans and gods. As religions took a more benevolent outlook on their deities, love became a way of relating to greater beings, as well as each other. The concept of soulmates remained, but the idea of your connection to your soulmate superseding your connection to a god faded. Tragedy went nowhere of course, but tales became bittersweet, with lovers being reunited in other forms much like Zhinü and Niulang from the Chinese story of The Butterfly Lovers. Those themes from the Greek mythos triumphantly return in stories like Romeo and Juliet (clearly a slight Tudor rip-off of Pyramus and Thisbe). Once again, more modern authors like Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve altered Greek myths to fit a contemporary pallet, resulting in the myth of Cupid and Psyche being loosely turned into Beauty and the Beast in 1740. She does this by altering the mystic and turning Cupid from an invisible god who only visits Psyche in the dark of night into a real human. Many of the more adult (read assault) tones were removed for children here, but the strange power dynamic influence of the Greek counterpart is still very clear. Sure, the prince has been changed into a beast by magic, but it doesn’t matter because much like with the trials of Psyche, all can be solved simply with love, and the story ends happily ever after. Many, many modern-day stories are simply Greek myths with a layer of modern-day paint slapped over the top, and this is true in no genre more so than romance.

Cupid and Psyche

Another interesting facet of love is not just the way it has been conveyed throughout time, but also across the globe. One can attempt to distil the concept down to scientific hormonal reactions if one feels the distinct need to, but that does not explain how so many societies have such an addiction to love and base so much of their cultural expression around it. One of my favourite discussions of the cultural concept of love comes from the brilliant Neil Gaiman:

Sonnet

by Neil Gaiman

I don’t think that I’ve been in love as such,

Although I liked a few folk pretty well.

Love must be vaster than my smiles or touch.

For brave men died and empires rose and fell

For love, girls follow boys to foreign lands.

And men have followed women into hell.

In plays and poems someone understands,

There’s something makes us more than blood and bone,

And more than biological demands.

For me love’s like the wind unseen, unknown.

I see the trees are bending where it’s been.

I know that it leaves wreckage where it’s blown.

I really don’t know what I love you means.

I think it means don’t leave me here alone.

If you’ll forgive a little bit of the sentimentality of the sonnet for the purpose of this messy blog post, it demonstrates the impact that love has on an individual and the practically ridiculous, self-sacrificing things that it can cause a person to do. This contradicts the basic theories of evolution, in that all creatures evolve to survive as best as possible, and therefore traits that harm this eventually disappear over time. This means that either this human penchant for love exists outside of how we physically exist, or it evolved to aid us somehow. Humans evolved society because they survive better in social groups, maybe this strong, all-consuming love is simply another version of that – giving people a raison d'être or some such equivalent. Then again, the far more poetic idea of a metaphysical love still holds merit with so many people the world over. The idea that we can’t ever understand why we feel love, or why (as the 1997 Disney film of Hercules puts it)

“People always do crazy things, when they’re in love.” Furthermore, the ability of humans to identify the emotion of true romantic love, when they are constantly bombarded with conflicting messages from all sorts of outlets astounds me. It isn’t something that I think I will ever truly understand, but I also don’t think that I would want to. I think it is beautiful that this random string of events pops up everywhere throughout humanity, and that people find such peace and happiness within it.

Back to Hedwig. (Be prepared for spoilers here of just skip this paragraph) This is an individual who has faced tragedy at almost every step along the way of their journey. How could she not find solace in the brief and beautiful respite that is Aristophanes’ speech, created in a world of almost pure tragedy? She is convinced that she will find her ‘other half’ when she reaches the West, and her pursuit of love is the only thing that keeps her going through all of the hardships she faces. Although The Origin of Love is sung relatively early in the show, Hedwig’s attachment to the idea of it is clear when she does meet her “other half” (in terms of the narrative of the show I suppose this is as close as we get) and she gives him the stage name Tommy Gnosis, which is the common Greek noun for knowledge. The Greek mythology has stuck so intrinsically with Hedwig that it still influences her thought process, but much like her ancient counterparts, her love story ends in tragedy as well. She learns and develops because of this of course, but the realisation that this was ultimately how it ends causes a full break down. Hedwig based her life on the acquisition of a dream given to her by countless media outlets throughout history, and ultimately her own life comes to fulfil this narrative, albeit with a nicer ending involving self-acceptance which was well needed in the demographic community the production was aimed at in the late 90s.

One of the reasons that tragic love stories still purvey modern society so strongly is the need for realism and grit in an unforgiving society. The Tragic Flaw and The Downfall create characters that can be related to, whilst putting them in a situation that audience members will rarely ever get to experience. The tragedy of love is both cathartic and reassuring; it lets you emote over how life could be worse while providing you with the opportunity to appreciate what you have better. Sometimes people tell depressing stories because that is what they see around them, and love between people who can never be together, due to societies rules or some greater power or circumstance, is something that will never go away. This explains, for example, why so many gay love stories end in tragedy because this reflects the real-life examples that occurred throughout the 20th century, both due to discrimination and the AIDS crisis. Maybe the ancient Greeks were on to something very real when they told their stories of love between ethereal beings working against the forces of time and nature. As Lysander said in A Midsummer Night’s Dream: “The course of true love never did run smooth.”

Now for an obligatory Frozen reference: I may not be a love expert, but I have friends who are. These friends just happen to be ancient philosophers and characters in old stories. I don’t purport to have a deep understanding of the concept of love, and whether I myself have ever truly felt it or not is irrelevant (and none of your business, nosy reader!) because my aim here is not to figure out what love is or how to feel it. I am simply interested in how it is portrayed throughout time and culture, and from an anthropological viewpoint how that reflects humanity as a whole.

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Thanks for reading this behemoth. It is a culmination of many thoughts I had on the topic throughout my time in lockdown (and a lovely reader reminding me that I actually still had this blog oops). I have tried not to edit down my thoughts too much because that reflects how emotive and instinctive the topic is. I am often accused of being cynical of the matter, but deep down – very deep down - I am a romantic, I promise. It’s a subjective matter, so please do feel free to correct me on anything, or just to call me myopic. I know full well that there is so much more to it all than this. That being said, I hope this wasn’t too boring, and that you all stay safe and healthy. x

Some more myth stuff:

https://meerkatcookie.wixsite.com/thegreatpretender/post/the-origins-of-love-cont